石黑一雄(Kazuo Ishiguro,1954-)
被埋葬的記憶


「你記不記得那天我在老山楂樹旁和那個黑衣女人說話?她看來或許像個發了瘋的流浪漢,但她告訴我的故事和方才那個老人的遭遇很像。她丈夫也是被一個船夫載走,把她一個人留在岸邊。回家的路上,她難過得哭了出來,當時她正穿過一座山谷,看到前方小徑不斷綿延,而且一路上有很多像她這樣哭泣的人。聽到她的故事,我只有一點點害怕,我對自己說,這和我們不相干。但她接著說,這個地方已經被遺忘的迷霧所詛咒,這一點我們自己也常常說起。然後她問我『如果妳和妳丈夫不記得在想這件事。有時候想想,不由得膽戰心驚。」

「有什麼好怕的呢?我們又沒打算去那種島上,也沒這個興趣。」

「可是,萬一我們根本還沒有機會思考要不要去那種地方, 我們的愛就消逝了呢?」

「妳在說什麼?我們的愛怎麼會消逝?我們現在的感情不是比少不經事時更加堅定嗎?」
「但是我們根本不記得那些日子,或是我們一起度過的任何歲月。我們不記得兩人有過的激烈爭吵,或一起歡喜的珍貴片刻。我們不記得我們的兒子,甚至他為什麼要離開我們。」

「我們可以把那些記憶都追回來。更何況,無論我記得或忘記什麼,我對妳的感覺依然不變。妳對我不也一樣嗎?」

「沒錯。但話說回來,我懷疑此刻我們心裡的感覺,難道不會像這些從濕透的樹葉間落下的雨滴,很快就不見了。我在想,如果沒有回憶,我們的愛只會褪色和死去。

「上帝不會容許這種事情發生的。」艾索說得小聲,因為他 心裡也湧起一股莫名的恐懼。

「在老山楂樹旁談話的那一天,」碧亞翠絲接著說:「那個女人警告我別浪費時間。她說我們一定要盡可能想起共有的回憶,不管是好是壞。剛才船夫那番回答,讓我期待又害怕。我們現在這個樣子,能有多少機會可以通過測試?萬一有人問起我們最寶貴的回憶是什麼呢?艾索,我好害怕。」

「好了,沒什麼好怕的。我們的記憶並不是永遠消失,只是這該死的迷霧,讓我們不小心忘了。我們會重新找回來的,必要的話,就一件一件找回來。我們這次旅行不就是為了這個?只要兒子站在我們面前,很多往事一定會逐漸浮現的。」

「但願如此。只是那個船夫的話讓我更害怕了。」

「別怪他,我們又不搭船去什麼小島。雨已經停了,我們別待在這棵樹下,走走反而乾得快些。咱們上路吧,別再煩惱這些事了。」


Kazuo Ishiguro,(1954-)
The Buried Giant


"Do you remember the strange woman in dark rags you watched me talking to up by the old thorn that day? She may have looked a mad wanderer, but the story she told had much in common with the old woman's just now. Her husband too had been taken by a boatman and she left behind on the shore. And when she was coming back from the cove, weeping for loneliness, she found herself crossing the edge of a high valley, and she could see the path a long way before and a long way behind, and all along it people weeping just like her. When I heard this I was only partly afraid, saying to myself it was nothing to do with us, Axl. But she went on speaking, about how this land had become cursed with a mist of forgetfulness, a thing we've remarked on often enough ourselves. And then she asked me: 'How will you and your husband prove your love for each other when you can't remember the past you've shared?' And I've been thinking about it ever since. Sometimes I think of it and it makes me so afraid."

"But what's to fear, princess? We've no plans to go to any such island or any desire to do so."

"Even so, Axl. What if our love withers before we've a chance even to think of going to such a place?"

"What are you saying, princess? How can our love wither? Isn't it stronger now than when we were foolish young lovers?"

"But Axl, we can't even remember those days. Or any of the years between. We don't remember our fierce quarrels or the small moments we enjoyed and treasured. We don't remember our son or why he's away from us."

"We can make all those memories come back, princess. Besides, the feeling in my heart for you will be there just the same, no matter what I remember or forget. Don't you feel the same, princess?"

"I do, Axl. But then again I wonder if what we feel in our hearts today isn't like these raindrops still falling on us from the soaked leaves above, even though the sky itself long stopped raining. I'm wondering if without our memories, there's nothing for it but for our love to fade and die."

"God wouldn't allow such a thing, princess." Axl said this quietly, almost under his breath, for he had himself felt an unnamed fear welling up within him.

"The day I spoke with her by the old thorn," Beatrice continued, "the strange woman warned me to waste no more time. She said we had to do all we could to remember what we've shared, the good and the bad. And now that boatman, when we were leaving, gives the very answer | expected and feared. What chance do we have, Axi, the way we are now? If someone like that asked of us our most treasured memories? Axl, I'm so afraid."

"There, princess, there's nothing to fear. Our memories aren't gone for ever, just mislaid somewhere on account of this wretched mist. We'll find them again, one by one if we have to. Isn't that why we're on this journey? Once our son's standing before us, many things are sure to start coming back."